thoughts at 2:56 AM.

(also a letter to myself)

boys.
if you want to go after a girl, don't wait too long to ask her out.
if you think you'll want to get to know her better first before making the move, you're buttfucking yourself. and let's not even go on to what a girl will think, let's talk about your own mind.

see: you meet her, you think you like her.
if the initial attraction is there, please PLEASE reach some sort of decision soon. okay so everyone's perception of soon is different.
it's okay to want to know her better, but please don't think you'll wait to know her completely before asking her out.
two things:
1. if you manage to know next to everything about her (assuming that is possible), then what are you going to be doing for the course of the relationship? people enter relationships for the chance to try, to find out. if you KNOW who it'd work with, and who not, you wouldn't be living your sad lonely life.
2. it is IMPOSSIBLE to know everything about a person just from being a friend. particular things will only be brought out by particular people. like how some people bring out the best in us, some the worst, and some both (don't ask how they can do it).

plus if a girl does expect anything, it'll probably be in the first 3 to 6 months of you knowing her (don't ask how i came up with these numbers, they talk to me). in this time, she's still doesn't really know you, so there's a gap between you and her. she probably won't be opening up to you about everything, so there's a defense in place.
once you know her well enough, she'll probably feel comfortable around you. problem: she'll see you purely as a friend. good luck you.

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i don't know why i'm giving myself relationship advice. the whole idea just occurred to me suddenly.
at least now i've had time to think things through. i feel my mind clearing already even though i haven't reached some resolution.

"i feel like/ i wouldn't like me, if i met me"