2 + 3. exhaustion/ depression
it's been ongoing for quite some time now, i've noticed.
i haven't been to prayer meeting for a couple of months, and even longer for Life Arts.
it seems that i never listen to my first instincts, and whenever i don't, they're right.
and late nights have caused another kind of tiredness, but that happens to everyone so who cares.
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and following a series of surprising and even mildly shocking revelations via msn, from sometime last week, i've felt even more drained.
i seem to remember saying earlier this year that i wanted to be depressed. so i could write more, and better.
i feel that i wrote better, if i wrote at all, when i was depressed.
well, i can't say i didn't get my wish.
but now, at writing two or three poems (for lack of a better word - i don't like the term), i feel like crap. mainly because i've milked them from others' misery.
at first i was like "hey i've got to write this! it sounds awesome!"
but after i'm done, i hate myself for having ever put it down on paper.
today i woke up at 11. kinda felt like shit.
i had some chocolate at 2. it helped a little, but now i'm just bored.
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